Thirty

There are many reasons why I wanted to write and read you a poem today. Since you left, poetry has been the only language that has helped me make a little sense about why you are not here today.

Fifteen days after your death, I went to a poetry festival. I picked a poetry book, opened it and the first poem read: “There was a time I could say no one I knew we’ll had died.”

This was the first of many poetry books that I have kept very close to my chest. Poetry nursed the wound.

The second reason. Poems were the only place I could find the words to describe the pain
Everywhere else I found words that were too refined, but poetry was raw. As raw as the wound that I am still nursing.

Third reason. I found hundreds of pages of your poems. You spent a lot of your time writing and I know we will cherish your words and find inspiration in them.

Reason number 4. You see, this is the reason why I thought reading a poem today makes sense. It would have been cool if they were thirty reasons why I miss you, or thirty reasons we will never forget you. or thirty reasons why you should be here with us.

Thirty..
This gets me to the point. You lived for thirty years.
I tried to look for all kinds of symbolism for the number thirty and found this:
“The number thirty is highly creative and social. The numerology number thirty represents highly creative and social energies. 30 resonates with optimism. It can be thought of as a limitless 3 — the creative digit 3 followed by the unlimited digit 0.”
Optimism
Limitless
I wanted to dig deeper into wisdom from the Bible about why thirty matters so
much…and I lost it. I decided to stick to the reasons I started earlier.

Reason number 5. I remember calling home that January when you turned thirty, the same year you departed. You chuckled and said “you think ndakuchembera”
Reason number 6. Thirty can be thought of as a limitless 3 and unlimited digit 0”
This year is my 30th year. I was not sure I would make it to the end of this poem.