I don’t remember what I wore to the funeral.
Was it black, to match the dark days that came suddenly?
Was it white, to mirror the blankness in my mind?
Did it even matter?
I don’t remember how I got to the cemetery.
Did I ride with friends, drowning in irrelevant stories?
Did I ride with family, reminiscing about a life well lived?
Did we talk at all? Was I crying the whole way through?
I don’t remember what I wore to the memorial service.
Months had passed, yet it felt fresh, raw.
Questions swirled in my mind with no answers.
What did it mean? Would I never see him again?
I don’t even remember what I wore
to the tombstone unveiling.
Years later, I relied on photos to remind me.
A bright pink dress, as if to say I had healed.
What does it mean to be healed?
Five years later, I admitted I was not okay,
I don’t remember who I saw at the counseling office.
All I know is I needed to talk.
What did we talk about on the first day?
************************************************************************
Years later, I lost a job I loved…
I don’t remember what I wore to work that day.
I remember the email that sank my heart
I had a month to hand over.
I don’t remember driving home that evening.
Was there music?
Was I talking to myself?
I don’t even remember what I wore on my last day.
Did I even go to work?
How do you dress to say farewell to a place
where your heart belonged?
And in that same season, I lost love…
I remember the message.
My heart broke.
All love was lost without notice.
I don’t even remember what I wore
the last time I saw him.
Were we happy?
Were there signs?
How did we end up here?
I don’t remember how I put
myself to sleep each night.
A heart hurting.
A pain untold.
A father, a job, a lover.
All different, yet the same.
Tinashe Madamombe is a feminist blogger and writer who documents women’s and girls’ stories, often drawing from personal and shared experiences. She is passionate about amplifying historically silenced voices, shedding light on their struggles and resilience. Her work explores themes of gender-based violence, women’s issues, and social justice, offering a powerful lens into the lived realities of marginalized communities. Tinashe’s writing has been featured in various publications, and she continues to use her platform to advocate for gender equality and women’s empowerment.