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Home » Poetry » Issue 7 » If Only

If Only

Losing you has taught me
to change the way I love
my hugs are lingering
and tighter these days
not rushed.
They are slow-and-hard
how-are-you-really kind of hugs,
I-am-glad-you-are-here-in-this-moment-
with-me-don’t-be-a-stranger kind of hugs,
I gaze into people’s eyes
searching for a clue
of the demons haunting them
of the dark they hide
hoping to catch them mid-air
before they land head down.
I am learning to laugh
loud, to unblock
the wounds that swelter
inside my broken heart.
losing you has taught me
to make the handshake
strong and warm
that too, lingering
it is the memory I carry
of you, clasping your fingers
seeking for answers, me groping
staggering through a web
of questions no one has answers to.
if only I had held you tighter
perhaps, life would not have
flung you upon a rock.

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