In Memoriam A.M., 1974 – 2021
Pain. Anger. Confusion.
Anger at God
Angry streams of tears
Flow down my cheeks.
Why now? Why him?
They said he was well enough to travel,
to take up his new posting
As an itinerant Methodist minister.
A preacher.
An Evangelist.
Then he tested positive
For the Big C
The wretched Rona
Ravaged his lungs
Sucking out the oxygen
And that booming baritone.
A mother with a new-born daughter
Sits, waits and prays
The new-born sleeps, cries and feeds
Oblivious to the developing tragedy
No one knows that at weeks,
she is almost an orphan.
The chain of prayers
The Lord is my shepherd
God is our refuge and strength
The Lord is your keeper
Psalms of hope
Psalms of assurance
Yet hope fades.
Trust disappears
As the breathing becomes more
and more laboured
Short gasps
Weak smile
Panic.
Within hours he was gone.
An abrupt departure with no goodbyes.
That omni-present smile
Replaced with pursed lips
That booming baritone gagged forever.
Sermons still-born.
Hymns silenced.
His trademark laugh, gone.
They said he died peacefully.
He is with his maker, others said.
Yet the pain lingers
Gnawing raw pain
Aching in places one never knew
they had inside them.
How can he be at peace when we are not?
What kind of maker takes away a father
from his two-week-old daughter?
How does a loving God cause such pain and suffering?
How? Why?
Where is God in all this?
Why does He remain silent?
In the words of the Psalmist, we shout:
Rouse yourself! Why do you sleep, O Lord?
Awake, do not cast us off forever!
Why do you hide your face?
It makes no sense.
It may never make sense.
As wave after wave grief crashes
over me, crashes us into disbelief.
Also by this poet:
- GRIEF in Issue 7
- Diaspora mourning in Issue 7
is a Zimbabwean short fiction writer currently living in the UK. He is a teacher of English, Accounting and Business Studies, and a budding poet. He writes poetry out of love for the genre and to create resources to teach unseen poetry skills. His other poetry has been self-published on social media. His short stories have been published in magazines, e-magazines and journals including the Edinburgh Review. He is currently teaching GCSE English and A Level English Literature in the United Kingdom while working on a collection of short stories.