Had I known, I should not have
harbored all that I thought you were.
I thought you were a control freak.
I took your lack of concern as not caring
You lacked empathy when I needed it the most
When I needed your shoulder,
when I felt weak and fragile.
You side-stepped me and I fell to the ground.
You took advantage of my vulnerability
and used it against me,
If only you knew how much it hurt me.
The few days you showered me with love
were overshadowed by years of your nonchalance
If only I had known earlier who you were,
perhaps, things would have been different.
Today I release you with open arms.
I came to know more of your past when you left.
Realisation came after you were gone.
You were never shown love so how could you have shown it?
You were always criticised and you lived with it.
You were bullied and couldn’t fight back.
You were always condemned and lacked the guts to retaliate.
All this while I thought you were a coward
Yet it was the trauma of being used and abused.
As I write this, I profoundly feel for you.
I am glad i found the light
The lump in my throat dissipates
as I release you so you can finally find rest.
Gertrude Mutsamwira, a 65-year-old poet from Manicaland, Zimbabwe, discovered her passion for poetry later in life, despite an early introduction in 1978 when she translated a poem for a school magazine. With a background in teaching and counselling, she founded her own counselling practice before turning to poetry during the COVID-19 shutdowns. Her work reflects themes of resilience, womanhood, and life’s struggles.
Her work was recently featured in the book entitled – “Tessarae – a mosaic of poems by Zimbabwean women” which was released in 2023. Deeply influenced by Zimbabwean traditions and storytelling, her evocative verses resonate with readers, proving that artistic expression can flourish at any stage in life. Today, she continues to inspire with her heartfelt and introspective poetry.