Moments of silence birthed the dawn of uncertainty.
Hearts laid bare in the winters of our reality.
But who are we really?
There was a freedom I’d hoped to obtain by my honesty
But instead I’m anxious about how you see me?
Even though I want you to really see me.
We crave the truth but to what gain?
You flow in and out my thoughts
Replaying the hurt,
Building resilience, I say to myself.
How is it I could be brave and powerless in the same breath?
I understood the folly of perfection
Yet could not resist the urge to be everything to you.
The broken parts in me needed the fantasy.
Yet, I fell so low of my own standards.
I take in the crispy spring air
And with it, the pain of my now.
Knowing there is no path,
Only a desire to start again,
Breathe in, breathe out.
Courage, dear heart.
Brenda Vengesa was born in Harare, Zimbabwe and currently resides in Scotland. She reignited her love for poetry during the pandemic. She contributed four poems, “Chimbwido, Memories in Green, What do you remember about the Earth, and Wilderness” in the collection Our Time is a Garden published by the Institute for Advanced Studies in the Humanities of the University of Edinburgh.
She has worked in the Accounting and Finance sector for over 10 years and is currently working full time whilst working on her first novel and poetry collection.
You can find more of her work at www.bantugoddess.com